“And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more”
The loss of someone you care about, no matter how deep, is always painful. It often leaves one wondering if I did enough. Did we spend enough time together? Where were those missed opportunities to share even more deeply, more profoundly? Did I enjoy every moment? Did I treasure each moment?
It’s so, so easy to look back in hindsight and see the faults, the times when we didn’t do our best, when we said things we really didn’t mean to say or did things we knew we shouldn’t have done. Sometimes, it’s hard to see how one action, or a series of actions, can completely change the world around you without your knowing.
For that last bit, it’s also a bit comforting, knowing that no matter what, no matter the pain that goes along with it, there’s always the potential for something even grander to happen as a result. It’s a belief that goes beyond knowing that everything happens for a reason. It’s a belief that there is good to be had in every moment, if I look for it hard enough. I’m hanging on to that.